We leave in 57 hours. That is unreal to me. I read Nick Mendez's note on facebook about his final thoughts on his LST project and it made me realize how close I am to leaving. He is leaving his readers just as I am leaving my family. Yes, those are two entirely different relationships, but nonetheless I see the parallels. We are both at opposite ends of our projects, and yet I share many of the same feelings he feels. I appreciated his thoughts.
Another thing that made leaving become more real for me was that Mom and I went shopping today for the final things I need. It ended up being quite a lot, more than I had thought. But now I am in possession of everything I need to go to Uganda. I haven't packed of course, but I have taken another step towards leaving, and each step closer makes it more and more real to me. Today was the first day I felt that mounting anticipation, like I am about to go on stage and perform. I am anxious, nervous, my stomach is starting to knot; even my normal breathing becomes deep when I think that in less than three days I will be on a plane to a foreign continent.
But above all of these feelings I am excited. I am ready. I know God has prepared our group for this journey more than I know. God has given me the confidence that in him this is going to be amazing. I am ready for my mind to be blown. There is no need for fear, as John says, because perfect love drives out fear. God is love epitomized. He will hold all five of us in his hands as we travel across the sea, and he will never let us fall from his care.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Nearer, still nearer, but not there yet.
We leave in two weeks! That is both exciting and nerve-wracking. There are so many ways that we are ready for this project that I want to leave right now. I am tired of waiting. All of our weekly training sessions this past spring semester, our Intensive Training and Getting Organized weekends, planning parties, and group bonding time at putt putt courses and the zoo have all made me feel completely prepared to go on this project. God has set out lives on a path that has not only made our team ready to go, but extremely excited to travel together. I'm not going to lie; we're probably one of the best groups to get along together as a team. You may argue with me, but, you'd be wrong.
Unfortunately, with all of our preparations, both as workers, teammates, and foreigners, there are still things I feel completely unprepared for. How bad will the humidity be? Will mosquitoes be a huge deal? Will the food be healthy? Will I like the food? Am I going to get sick? Will our parties we have planned for our readers fall flat? Will we have any readers at all? All of these are things I do not know the answer to, and will not know until I get there. If you know me, you know that I like to know things. I take as many opportunities to learn as I can. While this project will answer all of these questions and more in good time, I am impatient and want to exactly how my project will go NOW. Obviously, I do not, and this makes me nervous and worried.
However there is really no need for me to be uneasy. I know that in all of these things God will take care of us. While each day brings us closer and closer to leaving, we have not left yet for a purpose. God is still preparing our hearts and minds back here in America for this journey, just as he is preparing the hearts and minds of our readers across the ocean in Uganda. I know I can fully trust in God that all will go according to plan and that he will do nothing but love us. These next few weeks God will put the finishing touches in our lives and our hearts that if we were to leave know would not be there. I am very thankful for that. While there are still things I do not know and will probably worry about up until we actually arrive, I know that God is in control; I am going to spread the gospel, and that is more important than any of my worries.
God showed me another important thing while I was thinking about our LST project: yes, there are things about Uganda that I don't know, but more importantly there is the story of Jesus that some of our readers do not know. Who's ignorance is more significant? When I look at it in that light, all of my fears seem pointless and vain. Why should I worry about what I'll wear or what the weather will be like when there are those that do not know of God's love? They may not even be aware that there is something missing in their lives until we begin reading with them and they see the love of Jesus for the first time. God has given us a great burden and a great blessing, one that overshadows my trivial worries. The end of Matthew 6 teaches this lesson very well. The Word of God is more powerful than my worry, and that is such a comforting thing.
But don't you worry either; I am still way more excited to go than I am worried. This is going to be an amazing experience not only for me, but for all of my teammates and our readers as well. Please continue to keep praying for us, and we'll continue to keep you posted as the day of our departure gets closer and closer. I know I'll remember the overpowering significance of the message of Jesus over my own silly worrying, and I hope you do too.
Unfortunately, with all of our preparations, both as workers, teammates, and foreigners, there are still things I feel completely unprepared for. How bad will the humidity be? Will mosquitoes be a huge deal? Will the food be healthy? Will I like the food? Am I going to get sick? Will our parties we have planned for our readers fall flat? Will we have any readers at all? All of these are things I do not know the answer to, and will not know until I get there. If you know me, you know that I like to know things. I take as many opportunities to learn as I can. While this project will answer all of these questions and more in good time, I am impatient and want to exactly how my project will go NOW. Obviously, I do not, and this makes me nervous and worried.
However there is really no need for me to be uneasy. I know that in all of these things God will take care of us. While each day brings us closer and closer to leaving, we have not left yet for a purpose. God is still preparing our hearts and minds back here in America for this journey, just as he is preparing the hearts and minds of our readers across the ocean in Uganda. I know I can fully trust in God that all will go according to plan and that he will do nothing but love us. These next few weeks God will put the finishing touches in our lives and our hearts that if we were to leave know would not be there. I am very thankful for that. While there are still things I do not know and will probably worry about up until we actually arrive, I know that God is in control; I am going to spread the gospel, and that is more important than any of my worries.
God showed me another important thing while I was thinking about our LST project: yes, there are things about Uganda that I don't know, but more importantly there is the story of Jesus that some of our readers do not know. Who's ignorance is more significant? When I look at it in that light, all of my fears seem pointless and vain. Why should I worry about what I'll wear or what the weather will be like when there are those that do not know of God's love? They may not even be aware that there is something missing in their lives until we begin reading with them and they see the love of Jesus for the first time. God has given us a great burden and a great blessing, one that overshadows my trivial worries. The end of Matthew 6 teaches this lesson very well. The Word of God is more powerful than my worry, and that is such a comforting thing.
But don't you worry either; I am still way more excited to go than I am worried. This is going to be an amazing experience not only for me, but for all of my teammates and our readers as well. Please continue to keep praying for us, and we'll continue to keep you posted as the day of our departure gets closer and closer. I know I'll remember the overpowering significance of the message of Jesus over my own silly worrying, and I hope you do too.
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